Posts Tagged Nonsense
Joshua recently took some time to address a crucial question: “Who am I?”. I’ve been asking myself the same question lately. Many things in my life are going to change over the next couple of months and when I walk out of the experience I’ll be changed too, so I’d enjoy being having some sort of static point of reference I can compare myself to. So I’m going to pick up Josh’s idea and take a moment here to think about just who I am. The following is a reflection on the state of Deadpan Lunacy as of March 2011.
So, who am I?
The semester is now starting proper and since I passed the compulsory language test last week I can start my English major at full pace and I think I did a relatively good job fusing German in there. Some parts I’m going to have to leave behind for now because they aren’t available at the right time, but my schedule is still packed relatively tight. The interesting question is when I’ll finally start seeing myself as a student: My last dalliance with academics was phenomenally unsuccessful and while trying to figure out if I had even picked the right direction I didn’t have the time to pick up a new self-image on the way. The the term civil servant took over, quickly followed by slacker, the accurate description of my occupation come last fall. I’m curious how adopting the coffee-sippin’, messenger-bag-wearing, well read elitist lifestyle will go down. I guess we’ll see.
Let’s have a look at how many things I wrote out of free will for non-academic reasons:
A satirical speech on the stranger parts of environmentalism that scored fourth place in a national contest. Not too shabby.
A philosophical essay that earned me a ticket to a national contest followed by another philosophical essay that lost miserably but was prized for originality. I guess that’s what you get for loudly disagreeing with Kant.
Niche Appeal, the obscure review column, 23 entries and counting. Could stand a little improvement.
Everything on this blog. Underwhelming.
My studies are going to force me to catch up on most classic literature I missed so far, so I’ll be more of a reader than a writer the next months. But I don’t want to let this project die during that time. It’s kind of a guilty pleasure. I often come here when I want to stop slacking, but still can’t get myself to do “real” work. In that regard it’s still more productive than the amount of time I waste on TF2 or League of Legends (more on that later), but not as enjoyable. Rearranging my schedule to make this my prime recreational activity is a nice, but probably utopian idea.
Anyway, in order to not just keep at my current level but actually improve, there’s three things I want to do during the next semester:
- Finish Season 2 of Niche Appeal. That means seven more entries before August.
- Produce something outside of self-publishing. Payment is optional, but it will have to meet some editor’s standards. An article for The Escapist would be my favourite thing to pull off, similar sites will do just fine and if none of that works I’ll settle for a guest post on another blog.
- Blog at least once week. The more the better.
I’m aware of the cancerous nature of this term, but I frequently used it in the past. My obsession with video games has shaped me significantly. It was character defining. Maybe it still is, but that possibility now, more than anything else, scares me. I’ve cut down on this part of my life and I’m not sure I’ve gone far enough. On the other hand I don’t want to drop this pastime altogether, so I’ll have to find a way to strike a productive balance. I guess the message here is: This part of my life is getting less and less important to me.
Well at least until the release of Crysis 2.
I’m closing in on my third year anniversary on The Escapist now, but somehow I feel I’ve run out of steam there. The last years have been an engaging, entertaining and educational experience. I’ve met some great people, published a noticeable amount of work and learned a great deal about composition, flow and pace, even though I still struggle to apply these lessons to my craft. But I just don’t know how to follow up my presence there. Three years is a long time and most friends I made on the site have changed the role The Escapist plays in their lives in that time. Some are now moderators. Some post rarely, others not at all. I feel strangely out-of-place there, almost obsolete.
The Escapist served me well because I needed a platform where I could release my reviews without having to meet editorial standards, but now that I have this platform I’ve started wondering what keeps me there. Granted, the place gives me a lot more attention than this small-scale project. Some of my reviews have garnered more views there than this entire blog has altogether, so I doubt I’ll stop releasing Niche Appeal there (Gotta advertise somewhere, right?). But past that there’s really not a lot of unfinished business I have there. I heavily contributed to the growth of the Obscure Games Group, but the thing is still effectively kaput and the same thing can be said for the This Month in Forums publication. I doubt I’ll have to make another contribution as secretary for Review of the Month.
I’ll still keep an eye out on the site, but for now other projects deserve my full attention.
I’m entering a new group of people, it’s high time to make some new friends. This is harder for me than it sounds, I’m not too great with people. So I’ll need to take an effort to meet my new colleagues and at the same time I need to stay in touch with the select few I call my best friends, now spread over several cities and several studies.
That’s one thing. Secondly, and this is probably going to be even trickier, I need to improve my love life. I promise I’m not going into details here. Let’s just say I’ve never had a lasting, meaningful relationship (Take that as you may), and I intend to change that.
There’s some definite room for improvement here and I’m looking forward to returning to this in six months and measuring my success. I stated everything I know of myself here, but I can’t close this introspective yet. I believe that who we believe to be isn’t necessarily who we are. Actions speak louder than words and intentions alone can’t move a single stone. There’s an interesting tidbit I like to keep in mind: The greek word we based “personality” on, “persona”, among other things, means mask. So our personality isn’t necessarily what’s inside of us, but what we show the world. With that in mind I ask you, hypothetical audience: Who am I?
I’ve just been asked if I’d like to participate in a beer study. I’m having a really weird day.
All writing needs an audience, even if that audience consists of a single person. However a blog can’t make due with just one reader, and luckily I don’t have to. Despite my general inactivity and the fact that I’m still fumbling with this art a few people have stumbled over this site in the past weeks. So if you’ll bear with me I intend to play an early round of Search Term Bingo. I don’t have much to choose from yet, but I’m still fascinated by what brought people here. Call me inexperienced.
arx fatalis god mode
I’m not sure arx fatalis even has one of those, but I hear some crazy shit will happen if you spell the word max using the magic function. Glad I could help.
barney stintson; barney stinson green suit
I know you were likely looking for the St. Patrick’s Day episode, but just think about the big picture here: Neil Patrick Harris playing the Riddler. Fun fact: He was actually offered that part when Nolan started working on The Dark Knight Rises. Harris turned him down stating that he would break the film, since audiences would root for him. Nolan refused to let somebody else play that part and rewrote the script. True Story. Also, it’s Stinson, not Stintson.
the bro code
I see you are in the kind of prickly situation that requires guidance from the holy script. Of course I can’t relay the entire script here, so I’m taking a guess as to what your problem exactly is.
Article 59: A Bro must always post bail for another Bro, unless it’s out of state or, like, crazy expensive.
When bail is crazy expensive? Crazy expensive Bail > (Years you’ve been Bro’s) x $100.
I hope that helped.
vampire bloodlines races
Pick the Malkavian. Seriously, pick the Malkavian.
first person perspective mirros edge
Yes, Mirror’s Edge is played in first person perspective. Does that answer your question?
Odd, you might actually have found what you were looking for. No wait, I’m responsible for this one.